Anxiety, Journey, Taoism

Choppy Waves Ahead

pexels-photo-355288.jpegIt’s been quite a weekend.  And the week to come is only predicted to get worse. I didn’t really have a bad week, but a very sick Friday and Saturday seemed to make the whole week become  not a good one. I also was too busy to do some of the things I wanted to on here. I had a perfect post about a book I finished reading…but just didn’t get to it. Hopefully this week. Though this week is shaping up to be a bit rockier than the last one!

I think I’ve mentioned before that I am a teacher. I happen to work in a rather dysfunctional school district, but one I love. The dysfunctional part comes around every May as they have this habit of cutting large amounts of teachers and putting one into a sort of jobless/job having limbo. It’s not fun. It’s stressful and worrisome. I’ve been there 6 years  now and have always gotten that call back to work, but still the not knowing kills me. Uncertainty is not my friend.

This year though, something seems a bit different about it all. And I think it can be said that it is down to my new approach to living mindfully and kind of just embracing the waves as they roll. The book I was talking about up there was about the Tao in Daily Living (a post is definitely coming about this amazing book). The whole Taoist nature is basically going with the flow. Knowing that you will end up where you need to be. It got me thinking about these last 6 years and this seemingly endless cycle of job/no job. Each and every time I got cut and wound up in a new building or new position, it has always worked out for the best. I have always ended up in a place I needed to be, in a lesson I needed to learn.

I am, of course, apprehensive about going through the process again. It’s unsettling even if you do believe where you end up is where you were meant to end up. The in between causes anxiety. But I do feel that at least now I have the ability to detach a bit from the anxiety. To look at it from a clearer perspective. To embrace the journey more.

A year ago I never thought I’d be saying that I’m okay with having some limbo for a bit. I also never really thought I’d be the kind of person to embrace a philosophy so far removed from what I’ve always thought of as just my nature. It seems perhaps I have found the philosophy of Taoism just at the time I needed it. Ironically, I’ve been using this app that sends me a daily Tao excerpt. Funny how somedays they are so apt.

Today’s:

 If you realize that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold on to. If you aren’t afraid of dying, there is nothing you can’t achieve.  Trying to control the future is like trying to take the master carpenter’s place. When you handle the master carpenter’s tools, chances are that you’ll cut your hand. 

I can’t control what happens with the decisions made by my school district. I can only control my reactions. So this year, I’m going to just go with it and know that I’ll end up right where I need to be.

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