I spent this past week recharging and unwinding, connecting with nature and had an all-around fantastic time of it. I decided to disconnect for the last few days of my trip and I think that made my commune with nature all the more perfect. Being in the forest, just surrounded by the pure wonder of the Earth’s marvels is quite a grounding experience. I’ll have more pictures from the trip later this week.
Now, however, I find myself back at home, in familiar surroundings and confronting a familiar foe – insomnia. Tick-tock, tick-tock, the clock goes on and on.
I had zero trouble falling or staying asleep during my seven-day sojourn, but one night back at home and here we go again. I even made sure not to nap when I arrived home exhausted after a 4 1/2 hour road trip. All for the sake of being able to sleep like a normal person. Perhaps it’s the ‘too exhausted’ to sleep refrain. Though I’m not sure I buy that. Why is it so difficult for me to sleep? I follow all the ‘rules’ for getting sleep. I attempt to keep to schedule, I use the bed only for bed things like sleep. I get up after 20 minutes of laying there. I’ve tried aromatherapy, white noise, relaxation tracks. I even went so far as sleep hypnosis – and nothing. My doctor has even called my insomnia untreatable. After sleep studies, psychological sleep training, CAT scans, MRIs, and countless medications, I have literally exhausted all medical options to allow me to sleep. The only thing that has ever worked is anti-anxiety medication which leads to medication hangover and can be addicting if taken regularly – so that’s not really an option I want to dive head first into.
Admittedly, during the school year, it’s slightly easier. But only slightly, because then my brain is spinning so fast with things that need to be done, all the activity of the day is kind of wiped out by a racing mind.
There has to be a way of fixing this, I just haven’t found it yet. Until then, at least the insomnia blogging gives me something to do in the wee hours.